I saw some real video nasties this week. And not that Romney mishap, either. I'm talking about local fish.Some honcho trapped a (literally) great white shark. They hoisted her out of the water on a slatted wooden platform, and stuck a hose in her mouth. Then they set on her with a cordless drill. I wish I was making this up.They plugged the great fish with all manner of tags and flags, and when it swam away it had brightly colored balls stuck to it. It looked like a parade float. I was embarrassed for it, swimming away like that, gussied up like some Kansas City sardine.Who are these intruders? Ratings Hunters, I think they're called. Clown outfit, I say.Elsewhere, there was a certain rhythmic cadence to the seven kayaks I watched the other morning at the long, crescent-shaped beach that stretches from Covels at one end, past Craigville and down to Long Beach, a thin peninsula miles from pavement where rock cairns greet the tides and conch trees loom.They were chasing funny fish. Kayaks near shore, run and gun a few miles out for the outboard crowd.The birds would circle, their flights getting tight. They would splash for baitfish, and the kayaks would point their bows and stroke furiously for the splashes. Sometimes hooking up, mostly not. That's the nature of the false albacore, they move around. Fast. And they're picky.Kevin Blinkoff, main man at On The Water magazine, hooked one from his kayak on Monday. He checked out Craigville, but didn't launch, instead heading down toward Waquoit and South Cape Beach. He boated a nice one on a brown and gold Sebile metal which, he says, looks just like a bay anchovy.A wandering albie was taken inside Parker's River this week, too. Again, and I feel like I say this almost every week now, about one thing or another — it's been such an unusual summer — not something you see every day.So, while summertime rolls, at least for a couple more fleeting days, it's time to ask ...What's going on?An update on the Cape's Worst Boat: After some slapdash repair work — it looks like the resin was applied from across the street, while stiff fiberglass strands sprout every which way — I took her for a shake-down cruise. Boat is stable and barely leaks. Almost ready for her grand adventure.1. Buzzards Bay/Cape Cod Canal: The Canal has had some good mornings. On Wednesday, after that mighty blow, they were taking them right on top with pencil poppers from about the east end to the herring run. Some snapper blues mixed in, too. Buzzards has been pretty quiet, and there were reports of a large algae bloom out there, turning the water brown in places and shutting down any fishing. There were bass taken down around Nashawena and Cuttyhunk, though.2. Islands: Tommy White nabbed a 7-pound bonito from shore and went right on the leader board at the Derby. The seabass fishing is still rock solid on the wrecks off Oak Bluffs, but few care, as they're not Derby fish. Still fun, though. Derby runs through Oct. 13 and so far, fish a few ounces either side of 30 pounds are leading the boat and shore divisions for bass. These numbers are sure to fall. Nantucket has funny fish around Great Point.3. Cape southside beaches and estuaries: Aforementioned albie blitzes from Falmouth to Yarmouth. Bass River has occasional keeper bass with pretty regular hook-ups on schoolies, blues and scup. Harwich beaches and Wychmere Harbor have given up some keepers. With temps down and the water following, the bass fishing should pick up. Keepers at Popponesset.4. Nantucket Sound: Hedge Fence has been holding moderate bass. Good amounts of bait in the area have been a boon for funny fish, blues and bass.5. The Great Backside Beach: Still tuna to the east. One guy caught a real football, about a 26-inch little fella. Occasional giants, too. Off the beach, they're getting good numbers of blues at Nauset Beach.6. Cape Cod Bay: A pile of real, big bass stacked up on Scorton Ledge early this week. Again, the big blow may have pushed them off, but on Tuesday Jeff at Forestdale Bait weighed a 35- and a 40-pounder that a guy had caught, two of the five big ones he pulled up in an hour of superb action. Live eels were working best. Occasional tuna hook-ups in the Bay this week, but there were more boats chasing them than giants hooked. The Bayside creeks have been holding schoolies, too, the kind of thing where if you drag a seaworm around for a while, you'll likely land a few.Freshwater: Real solid. The trout have come in a little closer to shore with the fall weather. One guy hooked one off the bank at Peter's Pond. Mashpee-Wakeby is fishy with good reports of largemouth. And reader Myles Johnson said he took an 8-pound largemouth from Little Cliff Pond, along with multiple big pickerel.Lou MacKeil's Catch A Fish class at Nauset Community Education has a few openings left for sessions that begin Tuesday, Sept. 25. Call 508-255-4300 for more information.Next week we'll have much more on the closing of Truman's in West Yarmouth, who are shutting their doors after decades in the same spot, just at the lights on Route 28, a few long casts from Parker's River. And a really sad story about a fallen fisherman.Catch 'em up!Information for this column was assembled from a variety of liars, exaggerators, mis-informants, ne'er-do-wells and roustabouts. In other words, from fishermen.Contributing writer Rob Conery can be contacted at robconery@yahoo.com.
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